You can’t say you didn’t expect it. Everyone’s blogging about it this time of year. And I don’t want to be the oddball not telling the world everything I’ll fail to do. Swimming upstream is exhausting. So here are my resolutions for 2018.

1. Exercise more. Specifically one week more than the one week I managed last year.

2. Clean up the house by finding a new place to pile all the books I can’t fit on the bookshelves.

3. Eat more vegetables. And by vegetables I mean chocolate.

4. Start organizing my kid’s school papers, then give up and dump them all in the trash.

5. Stop letting the cat boss me around. For a day. Because we all know how that will turn out.

6. Continue to fool the other #turtlewriters into believing I actually know what I’m doing.

7. Save more money. Then wonder where it all went by March.

8. Think about getting out of the house more. Because, let’s face it, actually leaving the house is terrifying.

And there you have it. My resolutions for 2018.

At least they’re realistic.

What are your New Year’s resolutions?